King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Rediscovering The Archetypes Of The Mature Masculine
A Journey Through Time
We may be modern men, but our behaviors and patterns appear to be hardwired from a time long ago. In King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette point to these timeless archetypal energies that live within every man. They aren’t roles we learn; they’re patterns we carry, influencing how we lead, act, think, and connect whether we’re aware of them or not.
The challenge today isn’t that these energies are gone, it’s that we’ve lost awareness of them, that we fail to balance their energies effectively, and often find ourselves in the “Shadow” of each archetype expressing undeveloped, immature masculinity. What this framework offers is a way to make sense of our patterns, to find humility, and actions we can take to access the positive attributes of each archetype.
The Missing Rite of Passage
One of the most overlooked realities for modern men is this: there is no clear moment where a boy becomes initiated into a man. In the past, cultures had clear structure around this “rite of passage” with challenges, mentors, and clear thresholds a young man had to cross.
Today, that structure is largely absent. Instead, we have been left to figure it out on our own – piecing together what it means to be a man, without a clear and proper model, looking to our peers, to social media, eventually falling back on our backup babysitter (the TV) from childhood. As a result, many of us find our behaviours resembling something of a mixture between the undeveloped, immature archetypes and their developed, mature counterparts.
I’ve Heard this Before
“Where did I hear this,” or “This seems awfully familiar to…” are some examples of some common self-talk I experienced while reading King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. It would appear that some of the Men’s work I have done, the groups I have attended, retreats I’ve been on, TED Talks I’ve watched… have all “borrowed” concepts from this book – some of them borderline plagiarizing. In fact, I’ve seen entire paragraphs from this book word for word in other sources with no credit.
They say copy is the highest form of flattery, so that certainly is a feather in the authors’ caps. I guess it just goes to show how influential this book has been within the circles of men’s work and masculine development. Still, I can’t help but to think that those who share the content and don’t reference the original work must be operating from the “Shadow” Magician, holding onto source knowledge and sharing only what they need to profit, manipulating those who trust them into believing they are the thought leaders, the authorities! This isn’t to say they may not themselves be an authority on the topic, but then again, why the need to shield their source? Or maybe it is I who is operating from the “Shadow” Magician holding envy and passing judgement on those whose voice and reach are greater than mine – and so the work continues…
A few of my favorite quotes from the book!
We need to take very seriously the disappearance of the ritual processes for initiating boys into manhood.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
In our view, patriarchy is not the expression of deep and rooted masculinity, for truly deep and rooted masculinity is not abusive. Patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and, in part, the shadow – or crazy – side of masculinity.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
In the present crisis in masculinity we do not need, as some feminists are saying, less masculine power. We need more. But we need more of the mature masculine.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
A man who “cannot get it together” is a man who has probably not had the opportunity to undergo ritual initiation into the deep structures of manhood. He remains a boy – not because he wants to, but because no one has shown him the way to transform his boy energies into man energies.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
In psychological terms, the boy Ego must “die” The old ways of being and doing and thinking and feeling must ritually “die,” before the new man can emerge.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
The truth is that the boy in each of us – When he is in his appropriate place in our lives – is the source of playfulness, of pleasure, of fun, of energy, of a kind of open-mindedness, that is ready for adventure and for the future.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Roman birthday parties were held not so much to honor an individual as to honor that person’s genius, the divine being that came into the world with him or her.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
The “death” of the Hero in the life of a boy (or a man) really means that he has finally encountered his limitations. He has met the enemy, and the enemy is himself.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
True humility, we believe, consists of two things. The first is knowing our limitations. And the second is getting the help we need.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
It is only when we allow ourselves to see the seriousness of any problem and to admit what it is we are up against that we can begin to take appropriate action.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
There’s a saying in psychology that we have to take responsibility for what we’re not responsible for. This means that we are not responsible (as no infant is) for what happened to us to stunt us and to fixate us in our early years when our personalities were formed and when we got stuck at immature levels of masculinity.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
First, the mortal king, operating under the mature masculine energy of the King, lived the order in his own life; only secondarily did he enforce it.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Aggressiveness is a stance toward life that rouses, energizes, and motivates. It pushes us to take the offensive and to move out of a defensive or “holding” position about life’s tasks and problems.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
There is “no time” for anything but meaningful acts if we live death as “our eternal companion”Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Unlike the Hero’s actions, the Warrior’s actions are never overdone, never dramatic for the sake of drama; the Warrior never acts to reassure himself that he is as potent as he hopes he is. The Warrior never spends more energy than he absolutely has to.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
The Warrior is often a destroyer. But the positive Warrior energy destroys only what needs to be destroyed in order for something new and fresh, more alive and more virtuous to appear. Many things in our world need destroying – corruption, tyranny, oppression, injustice, obsolete and despotic systems of government, corporate hierarchies that get in the way of the company’s performance, unfulfilling life-styles and job situations, bad marriages.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
With all of the archetypes described in this book, we all need to ask ourselves not if we are possessed by one or both poles of their shadow systems, but in what ways we are failing to access properly the masculine energy potential available to us.Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
It seems that we as a species live under the curse of infantilism – and maybe always have. Thus, patriarchy is really “puerarchy” (i.e., the rule of boys)Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette : King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
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