The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Pushing Boundaries In Self Help
I originally watched the film a few years ago – maybe it was on Netflix, but I see now it isn’t on Netflix, rather Prime, so maybe I watched in on Prime – honestly, who gives a Fuck? Yes… you will get a lot more of that kinda language throughout the pages as Mak Manson brings his potty mouth and dark humor, but don’t let that deter you from the value contained within his work. In fact, kudos to Manson for pushing the boundaries within the self-help industry. After all, sometimes people need “a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down”, and in my opinion, that’s exactly what Mark does with his unapologetic approach. I wonder how many people who would have never subjected themselves otherwise to a “self-help” book did so because he put their guard down.
Don’t Be Fooled By The Title
At first glance, I would have guessed the book to be about indifference or maybe even a venture into nihilism. However, I quickly realized that this was not the case. In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson brings focus to the importance of values (yes, this is a book about values) and illustrates how a lack of clearly defined values, especially healthy ones, contributes to feelings of dissatisfaction, anxiety, and meaninglessness in life. He argues that it’s not about caring less, but rather about caring wisely — choosing what truly deserves our time, energy, and emotional investment. By redefining what matters most to us, we can live with greater purpose, resilience, and authenticity.
Responsibility Is Always Yours
One of the most valuable lessons from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is Mark Manson’s clear distinction between blame and responsibility. Manson points out that while fault can very well belong to someone else, responsibility is always yours. You may not have caused the problem, but it’s up to you to decide how you respond, to decide how you handle the circumstances you’ve been dealt, to choose and take the actions that align with your values.
This idea aligns closely with what I’ve taken from Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, where he emphasizes that leaders must own every part of their mission — no excuses, no pointing fingers. If something goes wrong, you fix it. Period. Similarly, in 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson challenges us to stand up straight with our shoulders back and take charge of our own lives, regardless of what’s been thrown our way. All three books remind me that personal responsibility is the foundation of growth and transformation. It’s liberating to accept that while you may not always be at fault, you’re still in the driver’s seat of your own response and your own future.
A few of my favorite quotes from the book!
The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
If you find yourself consistently giving too many fucks abou trivial shit that bothers you (...) chances are you don’t have much going on in your life to give a legitimate fuck about.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
“What pain do you want in your life?” What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Real serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Being “average” has become the new standard of failure.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
The question we should be asking is not “how do I stop suffering?” but “Why am I suffering – for what purpose?”Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Our values determine the nature of our problems.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Fault is past tense. Responsibility is present tense.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Personal growth can actually be quite scientific. Our values are our hypothesis; this behaviour is good and important; that other behavior is not. Our actions are the experiments; the resulting emotions and thought patterns are the data.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened – and even then, it’s still debatable.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
If it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience.Mark Manson : The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Get it today on Amazon!
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Extreme Ownership
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